Who the HE_ _ signed me up for this Elf thing??!!
(For the judging type I was thinking HECK, not the other word – really, truly, I almost promise.)
Come to think of it, my MOTHER was the one who brought the infamous Jingle Elf into our lives…. (I love you Mom, from the deepest part of my heart, ESPECIALLY this morning of all mornings)
Alexander bolts out of bed today like it is Christmas.
Only, it is not. It is December 1st. So forgive me for being more than a tad confused.
My son is running around the house from room to room calling for this ‘magical’ elf named Jingle to appear propped up in some ‘over-the-top’ cute fashion.
Moments later, his joy evaporated into a deluge of tears, “He is not here, he is not here, JINGLE is not here!”
Shoot me now.
Insert background: Jingle was purchased by my MOTHER (have I mentioned that before???) while Rebecca and I were living in the hospital a few years ago. Did you catch the part where I said I was living in the hospital and therefore had NOTHING to do with this Jingle charade? And guess what happened the next holiday season? You got it – we were in the hospital again. And the next holiday – surprise beyond surprise – the hospital.
Needless to say, I am not well versed in Jingle etiquette. Children of my particular generation did not grow up with an elf you can’t touch, that appears in different locations of your house every morning and is constantly watching over you. Am I the only one who finds this concept slightly creepy?
Regardless of my feelings on this particular elf tradition, Alexander’s tears were flowing as I nonchalantly walked (more like ran) from the kitchen to the bedroom and informed Brian of our predicament.
The conversation went something like this:
Me – “Where is Jingle?”
Brian – “Where is WHO?”
Me – “Jingle.”
Brian – “What are you talking about? Are you on drugs??” (Remind me to chastise him for that comment later)
Me – “I am talking about that ELF!!!”
Brian – “Ohhhh, I have no idea?? I think I brought it up to Minnesota when Rebecca was in the hospital last year.”
Me – “Brian, this is VERY important. Alexander is crying as we speak. You must find the Elf – apparently he appears on December 1st which is TODAY.”
Brian – “Alexander needs to get over that Elf.”
Absolutely no help.
I go back in the kitchen to find that Alexander abandoned his breakfast and was throwing the pillows off the guest room bed to check if Jingle decided to take a slumber there.
Alexander was NOT getting over that Elf.
In the meantime, Brian comes in the kitchen and tells the boys to get their backpacks for school while he hands me a bag of dry-cleaning and informs me the contents are very important and I need to take care of this today.
My husband was already on my bad list for not taking this Jingle fiasco seriously, but in an attempt to be the ever dutiful wife, I very reluctantly said yes.
And then I notice Brian winking at me.
I have not been married for 50 years, but in my world of 17 married years, handing me another task to accomplish on my already long list is NOT wink worthy.
Not even close.
So I am giving Brian the ‘I am not pleased with you’ look as he kept winking back at me.
This endless cycle would have continued had it not been for Rebecca whispering to me,
“Mom, I think Dad is trying to tell you he found Jingle and put him in the dry-cleaning bag.”
Got it – my 13 year old child is smarter than me.
Now that I was on the same wink-worthy page, I ran to the front entrance, sliding in just before Alexander arrived and DUMPED the bag of clothes out with Jingle lying face-down on top of them.
Because this is how we roll in the Taylor household – a butt-first Elf with its face buried in a pile of dirty clothes.
Ladies, don’t hate, I just can’t help all of this creative and spontaneous energy exuding from me….
Sure enough, as Alexander walked out he noticed Jingle’s backside and squealed in delight leaving for school a very happy (although a tad deceived by his parents continuing this freakish Elf tradition) boy.
Emotional stability of children intact.
Marriage on the same page.
All in all, I would say it was a productive morning.
I smiled, grateful for this blessing of childhood chaos, remembering the years I missed by waking in a hospital room. So this ‘endearing’ Elf named Jingle became my unexpected miracle – reminding me that the whimsical nature of youth is fleeting and every moment I get the privilege to experience is a precious gift.
Thank you Lord.
Love to each and every one of you,