The Un-Sacred Space of Easter

Sometimes, I am too overwhelmed with the magnitude of our situation to post an update. Sometimes, I am in denial. Sometimes, I don’t tell my friends we are back in the hospital to give them a break from serving us over and over and over. Sometimes I am too sad to place my feelings into words.

This week was one of those ‘sometimes’. And I know every caregiver of a chronically ill person can understand my ‘sometimes’. 

We left the hospital last week in rough shape with a beat-up body from the plasmapheresis toll and a urinary tract infection (UTI) from Rebecca’s fistula. But with an arsenal of antibiotics, we felt Rebecca could recover best from home. 

Only Rebecca did not recover, she got worse. Much worse. 

The UTI turned into a full-blown kidney infection and Rebecca’s susceptible liver turned a bad corner. We spent days trying everything we could keeping Rebecca home – different oral antibiotic combinations, intramuscular shots of antibiotics, but nothing worked. So, we headed back to the hospital – this time for Easter.

Easter has always been a sacred holiday for the Taylor family outside of the obvious reason.

Alexander and Nicholas were baptized on Easter – dedicating their life to a Savior who sacrificed for them before they were ever born. 

And Easter has been the ONLY holiday (major and minor) Rebecca has not spent in the hospital. The past 11 years, Rebecca has experienced every holiday in the hospital multiple times, yet never once Easter. She might be released the week beforehand or admitted the day after, but somehow in a divinely-fashioned way, Rebecca never entered the hospital on Easter Day.

We always thought there was something magical about this bizarrely beautiful fact. Jesus’ resurrection somehow equated our physical, emotional and most importantly, spiritual rest. Even if that rest was shortly lived, we felt protected in the sanctity of this brief Sabbath – our unexpected miracle year after year after year.

Easter was our sacred space. And we counted on that sacredness. 

When we realized a hospitalization on Easter was inevitable – Rebecca cried and cried. She begged to stay home – surely some medication could work and this miraculous tradition between her and God would remain intact. And yet, despite Rebecca’s pleas – her body worsened, and fevers abounded.

So, the Taylors spent Easter in a hospital filled with pokes and prods and needles and lack of sleep while hooked up to IV antibiotics. And the magic of Easter was no longer magical.

Another line in the sand crossed….

Another one-way deal with God shattered….

What do we do when our sacred-space is invaded? How do we react when our holy moments are tainted? I have no words pretending to know why God allows certain things to happen. Especially things my human eyes view as good, pure, special and noble. God’s ways are not my ways. But I do know if the Lord wanted Rebecca home for Easter this year, He is all-powerful enough to make it happen. My God does not make mistakes.

God did not forget this was our ‘sacred’ holiday. 

God did not forget our family desperately wanted to be together. 

And God most certainly did not forget to heal my Rebecca. 

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Neither are your ways My ways,

declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways

and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55 8-9

The great I AM has a purpose even in the midst of our pain, hurt and confusion. I may not understand, but I don’t have to understand to trust my Creator’s heavenly ways are far greater than my limited earthly view. I don’t have to understand to love God.

And I love my God. Whether we are in the hospital, or home; whether it is Easter, or a regular day of the week – my love for the Lord is not based upon my location.

I just love Him.

And that love supersedes my desire for understanding – even in the hardest of circumstances.

Thank you Lord.

Love to each of you,

C

27 thoughts on “The Un-Sacred Space of Easter

  1. Such a beautiful testimony of faith! I am praying for a quick turn-around for Rebecca, asking for relief and healing. God bless her and your sweet family.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Christyn, thank you for such uplifting, beautiful words. I love your Love and Faith in our Lord, Jesus Christ. You have again reminded me that it is not MY way, nor through MY works, but His. It’s amazing how you always cheer me up when it’s my place to be here for you and your family. God certainly knew what He was doing when he entrusted His beautiful child, Rebecca to your family. God bless you always.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, amen. ❤️🙏🏻💔

    LaDonna Mack 210-410-9014

    “The fish must honor its design. It is designed for water, not land…Real freedom is finding the right restrictions…” Tim Keller

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I so admire your heart for our Lord and Savior. How you live & convey in words your love even in the midst of the hardest times. May the Lord heal Rebecca completely and may all of you be strengthened and encouraged.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I cannot tell you how much your words draw me closer to our Lord. I am truly uplifted when I want to uplift you. You don’t know me but I am praying in Arkansas. Our Christian love to all of you❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dearest Christyn…
    Thank you for the update. I’m praying that Rebecca turns a corner soon. That her body begin to respond to the antibiotics and that her liver & kidneys are able to heal and function as they need to. Praying for your entire sweet family, that God will comfort & hold you all super close during this time that Rebecca’s body isn’t feeling well.
    May He continue to give you supernatural strength as you provide the comfort that beautiful Rebecca needs.
    Sending Much Love ♥️& unceasing prayers.🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You are an inspiration to me, and I’m sure to many who read your heartfelt journaling—praying for your Rebecca as well as for you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. We have NO words, my friend, to even begin to describe how your honest amazing Grace-filled testimony from the depths of disappointment & pain spoke to our souls!!!!!!!!!! So so sorry yet so beautifully powerful. Reminds me of my mantra🥰…. Trust in our Lord and LEAN NOT UNTO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING… but oh the Grace that needs!!! We are made to know & love & serve our God. Love you all, friend! Holding you close in our prayers, in our hearts.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Regardless of when you post, please know that our prayers faithfully continue for you and Rebecca and for your entire family. God goes where we cannot.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi Christyn, I just played the part from Max Lucado’s Audible book that talks about your family story to my wife this morning. I decided to look you up to see how things were going. We were hoping for great news since the loss of your baby.

    Just know there are people you don’t know (we live in Washington state) that admire you and your family. Your faith is so real and your honesty is precious.

    Praying now for your family!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hi Christyn, I was listening to Max Lucado’s book this morning and played the part about your family to my wife. I decided to look you up hoping to hear things has gotten better for you guys.

    I read your blog to my wife with tears and am writing to you to let you know you and your family are an amazing example of faith and authenticity. Praying for you now in Gig Harbor, Washington. Love John & Cindi

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! Thank you for taking the time to write me. We so appreciate your prayers and support. With love right back, C

      Like

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