Rebecca’s intestines are not healing.
Despite our conglomerate pleas across the nation – we need surgery.
I have waited to write these words because our family has grieved them with many tears. After begging the hospital team to release us on a trial basis – we are home for the week while her 3 surgeons make plans to open Rebecca’s abdomen back up on Tuesday. We are cramming everything possible into this week – AP tests, senior pictures (thank you Dina Selva!), a church senior banquet on Friday and a Symphony Belle presentation on Saturday. Then, we will head back to the hospital for another major surgery to fix her hernia and/or scar tissue of the small intestines, re-work her stoma and heal her fistula. More ICU time, more sedation drips, more increased pain factor from a sliced-through abdomen, more isolation from the family, more – well more of all hospital madness.
This surgery is hard for me to accept because Rebecca looks so GOOD! She is not doubled over in pain unless she eats. So, she can’t eat. And even liquids create tremendous pain when passing through the damaged portion of her intestines. So, she barely drinks. Unfortunately, TPN feeding is not an option because her liver is still inflamed. Therefore, Rebecca has lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. This cycle will continue until we operate on her intestines, so waiting until after graduation is not an option. The surgery must commence.
I look at Rebecca laughing and smiling and keep telling myself:
“Surely we can wait??? Surely, we don’t have to make this happy, joyful child go back to a comatose state with her abdomen wide open? Surely, we can delay until after her friend’s COVID-friendly prom and after her Top 10 graduate banquet and after all the other graduation events Rebecca excitedly planned all year from the hospital bed? Surely Lord, this surgery does not have to be now…”
But surely it does. And I am not ready for this – none of us are.
We are sad. All of us. Painfully sad.
But we will celebrate this week with full-power. And laugh and cry and love and build senior memories together. And those memories will be our unexpected miracle.
Thank you Lord for holding us up in our sadness.
Love to each of you,